Life isn’t always easy. It can be unpredictable, throw curveballs and feel overwhelming. We can be “up” one day, and then “down” the next. We can sometimes wonder how we will cope and get by in life.
I’ve definitely been there, in those depths of despair, unable to find my way out or see the light. If you’re in this space, right now, then know that I’m sending love beautiful. Be patient and know that things will shift.
One thing I’ve learned is that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and there’s a few simple things we can do to help lift our spirits and move us forward.
Here’s what I remind myself of, and what helps me cope when life gets tough …
1. Life is never perfect and that’s okay!
On each and every day of your life, it’s quite possible that something will not go the way you want it to. Your little one might get sent home from school sick. Your boss might be grumpy. Your husband might be home late. Your car might break down.
The possibilities of something going “wrong” and not to our plan of how things “should” be are endless.
But we have two choices in these instances:
- To live our life in resistance to each and every small thing/person/situation that bothers us or doesn’t go our way, OR
- To try and accept whatever unfolds with grace and live more in flow with life.
Have you ever noticed just how much energy it takes to be angry or agitated? It’s exhausting, feels awful and isn’t good for our health!
When we live in flow and accept the things that unfold in our lives, our days feel lighter. When we allow things to be as they are and take ownership over our feelings, our days are filled with more joy and harmony.
I certainly know how I prefer to feel and how I want to spend my valuable time on this Earth!
2. Comparison is the thief of happiness
It’s very easy to fall into the comparison trap. Social media can particularly trigger us into thinking that everyone else has a more “perfect” body, job, partner and life. We might tell ourselves, “If only I had all that, THEN I’d be happy”. But I can promise you this – even if you did have x, y and z, you’d still want more. There’d STILL be something else that you’d feel was missing or wasn’t quite right in your life.
Perfection doesn’t exist! Life has taught me that the grass is not greener on the other side. It’s greener where we water it and the good thing is that we’re 100% in control of this.
Enjoy what you’ve already got which I’m sure, is a lot.
If you want to read more about this topic, you’ll enjoy this article I wrote!
3. Your mind is your greatest storyteller
Have you ever stopped and paid attention to the stories your mind tells you? If not, I suggest giving it a go! It’s fascinating and life changing! All you need to do is set a timer for 5 minutes and simply pay attention to the thoughts that arise. You’d be surprised at where your mind goes and by how frequent your thoughts are when you stop and pay attention!
Becoming more aware of my mind and my thoughts was a huge catalyst for growth in my life. When I stopped and paid attention, I saw that I was telling myself very unhealthy and unhelpful stories – that I wasn’t as worthy as other people, that I was only a good Mum if I met the very strict criteria I set for myself and that other people’s needs were more important than my own. These stories can destroy every inch of what is already great in our lives and hold us back from ever being truly happy.
I also noticed that on a “bad” day/week/month, my mind told stories that were even more unhealthy and unhelpful, resulting in me feeling even worse and sending me into a downward spiral of negativity!
Looking at our thoughts can be scary and confronting, but getting intimate enough with your mind to know when it’s supporting you, or actually making your shadows seem even darker, is one of the most courageous and life enhancing things you can do for yourself.
If the stories are helpful, keep them. But if they’re not, maybe it’s time to start a habit of questioning them and changing them to stories that serve you better.
4. Every experience offers us a lesson and opportunity for growth
There’s been many challenges in my life I’ve looked back on and in hindsight thought to myself, “I’m so grateful that happened”. Even though things sometimes felt unbearable and I questioned how I’d get through, I’ve learned that there’s always at least one lesson we can take away from each and every situation and circumstance we find ourselves in.
Maybe now isn’t the time for you to be gifted the insights that are awaiting you, but there is great peace in knowing that they are there, waiting to be discovered and to help you grow when the time is right.
Remember beautiful – there’s no shame in admitting if you are struggling or need support. Each and every one of us needs to recruit the help of friends, family and professionals at some stage of our journey. Experiencing challenges is what makes us human. Being vulnerable and courageous enough to ask for help (even if that help is just a listening ear and a cup of tea with a friend!) is what makes us superhuman.
You’ve got this!